


Get It Away From Me!

by ladydragon76



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fanfiction, Gen, Rating: PG-13, character: astoria, character: optimus prime, character: powerglide, character: sideswipe, genre: crack, genre: humor, verse: g1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> <a href="http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/71609.html?thread=872377#t872377">Prompt</a> from tiamat1972: Sideswipe, Astoria - making that special someone jealous - smut/fluff :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get It Away From Me!

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** I remember hating Astoria the most out of all the humans. She’s practically a parody of a Sue before there were Sues. Which… strangely makes me kinda like her. Not her as a character, but the humor of her existence, even if it’s just my own twisted perception. 8D

**Title:** Get It Away From Me!  
 **‘Verse:** G1  
 **Series:** None  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Characters:** Sideswipe, Powerglide, Astoria, Optimus Prime  
 **Summary:** [Prompt](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/71609.html?thread=872377#t872377) from tiamat1972: Sideswipe, Astoria - making that special someone jealous - smut/fluff :D  
 **Notes:** I remember hating Astoria the most out of all the humans. She’s practically a parody of a Sue before there were Sues. Which… strangely makes me kinda like her. Not her as a character, but the humor of her existence, even if it’s just my own twisted perception. 8D

 

**Get It Away From Me!**

 

Sideswipe left his audials off, and ignored the shocked widening, then outraged narrowing of Prime’s optics as he passed the Autobot leader in the corridor.

Held out as far from his body as he possibly could, cloth coverings pinched between his forefinger and thumb, kicking, and probably still shrilling like a harpy, was Powerglide’s pet human. Sideswipe was two nanokliks from going ‘Con on its sorry shrieking aft, and just flattening it into a squishy smear.

Prime would be really torqued with him if he did that. The boss was already pinging his comm, and Sideswipe could feel the tall, heavy presence stomping along behind him.

Too fragging bad. He was sick of the little monster! It’d actually taken Sideswipe a while to figure out its motives for constantly touching him, offering to polish him, begging him for rides he wasn’t about to give.

Then Tracks, more human-savvy than Sideswipe, had pointed out that it only did it when Powerglide was nearby. Sideswipe had watched after that, and yup. Whaddaya know? Tracks had nailed it. Not that Powerglide seemed bothered.

Speaking of, if Sideswipe didn’t find the slagging jet soon, he really was going to squish his human. He hissed threateningly as tiny fingers managed to dig into a joint in his finger and pinch a wire. “Stop it, or I’m throwing you at the floor!”

Sideswipe’s comm was hacked in that instant. // _ **SIDESWIPE**_!//

Undeterred, Sideswipe snarled wordlessly over his shoulder at Prime, then rounded a corner.

There!

Fragging! Finally!

Sideswipe strode toward Powerglide, bellowing his designation. The jet turned, optics going wide, facemask wobbling as he said something. Sideswipe tapped his audials. “I turned them off so I don’t have to listen to this _thing_ anymore! If you don’t keep it the slag away from me, I’ll cheerfully spend the rest of my life in the brig, or even fragging _spark prison_ for killing it!”

Sideswipe tossed the human to Powerglide, the gesture careless, though his aim was perfect. He didn’t care though whether Powerglide caught it or not, and had already turned to face Prime. He slammed his wrists together and held them out, offering to be shackled and hauled off.

Prime was speaking, but Sideswipe shook his helm. //I’m not turning my audials back on until that thing is out of range! Do you _know_ what it did today? It decided that it was going to upgrade my Nintendo. My Nintendo is now slag. Keep it away from me!//

Prime blinked, then must have heaved a sigh, his shoulders slumping a little. He said something to Powerglide, then gestured Sideswipe back the way he’d come.

//How the slag did it even get into my quarters?! Huh?!//

//Easy, Sideswipe,// Prime said. Sideswipe jerked his shoulder away from the comforting pat. //We’ll ask Wheeljack to look at it, ok? I’m sure Astoria meant no har-//

Sideswipe whirled, glaring up at Prime. //Meant no harm?! That little fragging monkey has been _using_ me in an attempt to make Powerglide jealous. It glitches slag everywhere it goes, gets its grubby, greasy fingerprints all over my finish,// Primus, he sounded like Sunny, //and won’t stay away from me even when I threaten its life! It has a death wish! I’m going to go live with the ‘Cons if it doesn’t start leaving me _and_ my stuff alone!//

Sideswipe spun around, stomping off, a roar of inarticulate rage reverberating off the walls of the Ark.

Optimus stared after him, dumbfounded.

“Aw, don’t worry about him, Optimus,” a squeaky little voice said from near Prime’s foot. “He’ll come around eventually.”

Optimus looked down, seeing Astoria with her elbows propped on his foot, chin in her hands in what had to be uncomfortable for her neck as she gazed up at him. Optimus glanced over at Powerglide, who shrugged helplessly. “Astoria. I wonder if you would be willing to help me with something?”

“Sure, big guy,” she… purred?

“Uh… yes. I need some research done in New York City. It could take some time-“

“Say no more! Anything for you.” Astoria’s eyes fluttered, and Optimus wondered if Sideswipe’s rough handling had damaged her.

“Powerglide. Why don’t you fly Astoria to New York so she can get started.” Prime excused himself, ignoring Powerglide’s frantic pinging of his comm.

~ | ~

**([Table of Contents](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/6214.html) )**


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